Soothe those fears away. Parents can soothe their tots separation anxiety through
constant reassurance and setting up regular life routines
JUNE CHEONG reports

Babies are much like adults only they are more honest.

A baby can become anxious when he is exposed to new places new people or new experiences, much like
any of us," said Ms Faye Yang Phey Hong, a senior psychologist at the department of child development at KK Women's and Children's Hospital.

Lacking language skills, babies may whimper, cry, screech or make faces when they are uncomfortable or anxious.

Babies often suffer from separation anxiety. This is a developmental stage during which a child experiences anxiety when separated from his primary care giver, who is usually the mother.

The condition can set in as early as six to seven months of age but most babies show signs of it when they are between 12 and 18 months old.

Ms Yang explained: "This happens when the baby is sufficiently aware of his surroundings to understand that he is a separate being and not an extension of his other or other close family members. He is beginning to learn more about the world but he does not quite understand it."

She added: "He feels most secure with his closest family members and worries that they will not come back if they leave. He might recognise that he is dependent on his caregivers to provide for and protect him."

Parents can soothe their child's separation anxiety by providing constant reassurance and setting up regular routines of leaving and returning to him.

Parents should tell their child they will return when they leave him alone or with another caregiver and reassure him that he will have fun with the person who is helping to take care of him.

Ms Yang said: "It is helpful it parents say their goodbyes in a calm and firm manner, rather than make them
melodramatic drawn out or emotional affairs."

Besides the fear of abandonment, another big bugbear for babies is learning how to soothe themselves to sleep.

While parents cannot teach their child how to do, so they can help by establishing a regular bedtime routine for their child.

Ms Yang said that learning how to self-soothe is one of the important steps towards independence.

Things do not get any easier for parents or for children for that matter - when the children get older. They may begin to develop fears of other things like thunderstorms or monsters lurking in the closet.

Comforting a child when he is afraid requires a lot of patience and compassion on the parents' or guardians' part.

When asked how parents can comfort their children after a nightmare or watching a scary movie, Ms Yang said: "Let your child tell you about his nightmare if he can or wants to and reassure him that it's just a dream.

"Convince him hat there are no ghosts or monsters in his room. Teach him to take deep breaths if he has difficulty calming down."

Parents can also distract the child by getting him to think about or list his favourite things toys or places.