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Hyper-sexualised behaviour in children could be the result of sex abuse or exposure to pornography
 When a child under the age of 12 talks a lot about sex, his parents should immediately get him professional
help.
This is the view of counsellors and experts LifeStyle spoke to.
Counsellor Philip Ang says: “Children that age should not have explicit sexual knowledge, so when they talk so much about it, it means they must have had some form of sexual exposure.”
Dr Brian Yeo, a psychiatrist who specialises in treating children and adolescents, says that “when young children exhibit behaviour that is inappropriate for their age”, they are likely to be hyper-sexualised.
According to him, excessive masturbation, provocative acts such as exposing one’s private parts and engaging in simulated sex acts are tell-tale signs of age-inappropriate behaviour.
He and other doctors whom LifeStyle contacted say they have all seen cases of hyper-sexualised behaviour in children but they stress that it is not a common occurrence here.
In a recent case that got a 38-year-old private tutor sentenced to six years’ jail and six strokes of the cane, a nine-year-old boy initiated sex acts with the man.
The boy, now 11, had started talking to his former tutor about sex, which later led to him performing oral sex on the man on five occasions.
In court, Dr Cai Yiming, a psychiatrist from the Child Guidance Clinic, diagnosed the boy as showing “hyper-sexualised behaviour” and that he needed psychiatric help to control his sexual fantasies and desires.
Dr Parvathy Pathy, senior consultant at the Institute of Mental Health’s department of child and adolescent psychiatry, says alarm bells should go off in parents’ heads if their children are “pre-occupied with masturbation and cannot function normally without thinking of it”.
She adds: “Due to greater awareness these days, more of these cases get picked up, but it is not a common problem here.”
The first thing she does when a case is brought to her attention is to “investigate and rule out the possibility that the child in question is a victim of sexual abuse” as that could be the trigger for his sexual behaviour.
“The key is to find out if abuse had taken place, so that the child can be given the necessary protection and be prevented from developing any bad sexual habits,” she explains.
Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children’s Society, adds: “A child who has been a victim of sexual abuse or grooming may mistakenly think that engaging in sex acts is one way of getting attention from an adult.”
Dr Yeo further cautions: “Boys who have been sexually abused may also face confusion over their sexual orientation when they grow up.”
Besides sexual abuse, other reasons for hyper-sexualised behaviour in children include exposure to pornography and sexual activity.
Sometimes, the discovery of sexual behaviour might be accidental.
“Some children find that they feel relaxed when they masturbate or they feel a physical sensation when they touch themselves,” says Dr Parvathy, who has come across a case of a four-year-old boy who tried to touch the private parts of other boys at a child-care centre.
Whatever the cause, adults dealing with such a case should stay calm.
“A child who masturbates might think that it is an innocent thing to do. So if adults panic, they might cause the child to be alarmed unnecessarily,” says Dr Balhetchet, who last year encountered the case of a seven-year-old boy who simulated love making on a younger girl while lying on top of her.
She suggested that parents take their children to family service centres, where there are trained social workers and counsellors who could “either deal with the case or pass it on to the next level, like a psychiatrist”.
And what would the psychiatrist do? “We have to find out what needs the sexualised behaviour serves for a child and then teach him ways to meet these needs through appropriate actions,” says Dr Parvathy.
Medication is prescribed only if the child shows symptoms of anxiety or depression, and even then it must be coupled with therapy such as counselling.
A parent LifeStyle talked to agrees with the sentence dished out to the tutor who received oral sex from his charge, never mind that the boy had displayed hyper-sexualised behaviour and made the first move.
Ms Renee Winata, 33, the mother of a seven-year-old girl, says the man “should have had the power to stop the sex acts as an adult should always be held responsible in such situations where a minor is involved”.
She also believes sex education is the key to preventing a similar thing from happening to her daughter.
“The more knowledge of sex children get from their parents, the less perverse they will be about it when they grow up.”
Look out for these signs
A child under 12 years of age could be exhibiting hypersexualised behaviour if he:
- talks about having sex or engaging in other sexual acts
- masturbates consistently or excessively, especially in public places or without regard for social norms
- is pre-occupied with masturbation and is unable to function normally without doing it
- initiates sexual acts such as oral sex with other children or adults
- simulates sexual activities with other children or adults
- exposes his private parts to other children or adults
- repeatedly touches himself or others in areas such as breasts and genitals
Sources: Dr Brian Yeo, child psychiatrist in private practice, and Dr Parvathy Pathy, senior consultant, Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Institute of Mental Health
Tips for parents
- children exhibit hyper-sexualised behaviour:
- Acknowledge the problem and do not avoid it as the condition could worsen if treatment is delayed
- Be open about the topic of sex and teach them appropriate sexual behaviour. Children will turn to other
sources such as the Internet if parents are not willing to talk about it
- Educate your children about not letting adults touch them, especially on the genitals, as soon as they start
to interact with people outside the family, such as at kindergartens
- Do not panic as this could cause unnecessary alarm for the child, who might not understand the severity of his actions
- Seek help from an expert such as a psychiatrist or counsellor as he is the best person to assess the case and recommend appropriate measures to take. Call the Family Service Centre’s 24-hour line on 1800-222-0000 and an officer will direct you to the centre nearest your home.
Sources: Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children’s Society, and Mr Philip Ang, a counsellor in private practice
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