Sexual Difficulties After Breast Cancer Treatment

My wife lost interest in sex

Q. My wife underwent surgery for early stage breast cancer three months ago. She has returned to work but we do not have sex anymore. She rejected all my attempts to get intimate. Once, she broke down saying she no longer felt attractive. What can I do to help her regain her confidence? We are both in our 30s.

Sexual difficulties after breast cancer diagnosis and treatment are very common. An estimated 80% of sexually active couples, stop having intercourse all together. However, with good counseling and efforts put in by both parties, nearly all couples will regain their previous level of sexual activities.

Your wife had gone through a difficult time. She had to cope with the diagnosis, the harsh effects of treatment including surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy as well as the stress and uncertainty of her condition in the future.

You will be the key person to help her regain her sexual confidence. Now that she has a scar, her greatest fear will be your feelings towards her.

• It is very important that you reassure her with both words and action.
  
• Keeping very quiet and not addressing her concerns directly will make her jump to the conclusion that you are no longer attracted to her.
  
• Talk about it openly. Allow her to express her emotions and tell you what she likes and dislikes.
  Apart from words, frequent touching and hugging can be more intimate than intercourse. This will go further to reassure her that you still love her.
  
• The breast cancer support group has been found to be extremely useful for sexual rehabilitation. Your wife will benefit tremendously from other patients’ experiences and different coping strategies. Do encourage her to attend the sessions. Contact her doctor and find out more.